Portion Patrol Gifts

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"Now I wish we hadn't ordered all those appetizers."

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.

Polar bear on a mountain of plastic

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

I spy with my little eye in the sky …

"Hey, that's your personal pan pizza. NO SHARING!"

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

"My father always said...eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince...and dinner like a beggar."

'I want to be them!'

Go large or go home!

"No, I said 'sit'."

'I'll pay double for half as much.'

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

Birthday cakes for Dieters...

'Yes, I got it all.'

"Just a heads-up... when you count calories, high score doesn't win."ories/high score

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

"Who had the Lumberjack fruit cup?"

Birthday Cakes for Dieters...

Diet Food...& lots of it

"It's only 5 calories a serving...but a serving is a crumb."

'You talk about a clean dog!'

'You are what you eat!'

It's a dreadful affair, Watson. Flagrant failure to use the poopy bins.

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet.

Doc, I firmly believe in portion control as long as I control them!

'Our diets are based on out unique 'portion management system'. Basically we ship your portions to Albuquerque so you can't get at them!'