Portion Controller Gifts

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

'To be honest Mabel, we just made 'em smaller!'

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet.

Big Eater

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

"They should have quit after deep dish."

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

"I'm here to warn you, do not eat both slices of cake – you're going to want one tomorrow."

Yes, I Want Fries With That.

Go large or go home!

Fruits and vegetables

"My father always said...eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince...and dinner like a beggar."

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

'I'll pay double for half as much.'

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

"I don't know why I put weight on, I hardly eat enough to keep a sparrow alive."

"Who had the Lumberjack fruit cup?"

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

"I'm glad you enjoyed your meal, Sir. Did you save some room for shame?"

Portion control in the Old West

"Just a heads-up... when you count calories, high score doesn't win."ories/high score

Diet Food...& lots of it

"It's only 5 calories a serving...but a serving is a crumb."

'You are what you eat!'

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

Portions of a thin and fat man.

'What do you mean, microbiotic?' 'Very small portions.'

'Our diets are based on out unique 'portion management system'. Basically we ship your portions to Albuquerque so you can't get at them!'