Portion Control Master Gifts

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

Portions of a thin and fat man.

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

"They should have quit after deep dish."

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"I'm here to warn you, do not eat both slices of cake – you're going to want one tomorrow."

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

Yes, I Want Fries With That.

"My father always said...eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince...and dinner like a beggar."

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

Go large or go home!

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

'I'll pay double for half as much.'

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

"I'm glad you enjoyed your meal, Sir. Did you save some room for shame?"

"Who had the Lumberjack fruit cup?"

Portion control in the Old West

"Just a heads-up... when you count calories, high score doesn't win."ories/high score

"I don't know why I put weight on, I hardly eat enough to keep a sparrow alive."

'To help me stay on my diet, I've hired a portion control officer.'

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

Diet Food...& lots of it

"It's only 5 calories a serving...but a serving is a crumb."

'You are what you eat!'

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

'What do you mean, microbiotic?' 'Very small portions.'

'A good rule of thumb is never to eat anything that won't fit into your microwave.'