Portion Control Guru Gifts

'I knew there was a catch! Only fifty calories per serving but one small box contains eight serviings.'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

All-Day Breakfast

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

"They should have quit after deep dish."

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

"I'm here to warn you, do not eat both slices of cake – you're going to want one tomorrow."

"We've gone 'Glutton-Free'."

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

Yes, I Want Fries With That.

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

"My father always said...eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince...and dinner like a beggar."

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

Go large or go home!

'I'll pay double for half as much.'

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

'To help me stay on my diet, I've hired a portion control officer.'

"Just a heads-up... when you count calories, high score doesn't win."ories/high score

"I'm glad you enjoyed your meal, Sir. Did you save some room for shame?"

"I don't know why I put weight on, I hardly eat enough to keep a sparrow alive."

"Who had the Lumberjack fruit cup?"

Diet Food...& lots of it

"It's only 5 calories a serving...but a serving is a crumb."

'What do you mean, microbiotic?' 'Very small portions.'

'You are what you eat!'

Portions of a thin and fat man.

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'