Protection Patrol Gifts

'What does ominous mean?'

Police Feline Unit

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

Factory chimney coming from top of globe.

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.

Polar bear on a mountain of plastic

Speed Limit Enforced from Aircraft.

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

"60 may be the new 50 in the fantasy land you live in, but here in the real world, it's called exceeding the speed limit."

Dream Advertisements.

'I want to be them!'

"Sign here that you acknowledge the risks."

"No, I said 'sit'."

"I hear this place is a hotbed of international pancakes."

"The sniffer dog had found cocaine again."

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

"Everybody back. . . Minefield!"

D.O.T asks a dog driver:'Where's your trainer?'

'That's far enough for this year.'

'Yes, I got it all.'

"Well, I should probably go—work's really starting to pile up."

'Do you know that your pilot's license has expired?'

Low Tech Automated Speed Enforcement.

"That's Charles' new gun dog."

It's a dreadful affair, Watson. Flagrant failure to use the poopy bins.

'A fag end, and at the fag end of our shift! Let it lie.'

'You talk about a clean dog!'

'As far as our environmental policy goes, if we destroy it we don't have to worry about it anymore!'

Dumping waste into a toilet.