Portion Police Gifts

Birthday cakes for Dieters...

Police Feline Unit

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'Come out with your fins up!'

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

"It's the Grammar Police! Have you been using 'your' when you should be using 'you're' again?"

"Now I wish we hadn't ordered all those appetizers."

Penguin identity parade

'Have you noticed how portions are getting bigger?'

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

"So how exactly am I supposed to give a self-driving car a ticket?"

"It's a driverless car! I'm humoring the dog!"

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

"Cut. Cut. You call this a crime scene?"

"I realise that you're trying to impress your new employers on your first day, dear. But, this is our car!"

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

'These are my dieting glasses. They magnify the food so I think I'm eating more than I really am.'

"Yeah, well, you sure don't drive like a slow loris."

"Honey, did you have to bring the whole squad to our elopement?"

Go large or go home!

'Take a good look at this police sketch and try to remember if you've seen anybody who can draw better.'

"I believe you to be over our new drink-drive limits, and require you to blow into this..!"

Math Equation Speed Limit

'Hold it, Charlie - I think he's ready to cooperate now.'

'Careful. Those nachos might be loaded.'

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

London Welcomes Carfull Drivers