Portion Enthusiast Gifts

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'The food's pretty bad here, but we make up for it with especially large portions.'

"Who had the Lumberjack fruit cup?"

Go large or go home!

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

All-Day Breakfast

"They should have quit after deep dish."

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

"I'm here to warn you, do not eat both slices of cake – you're going to want one tomorrow."

"Would you like any suburbs, or just the check?"

'These are my dieting glasses. They magnify the food so I think I'm eating more than I really am.'

Fruits and vegetables

"Fake."

Tiny restaurant portion. Man finds magnifying glass amongst cutlery.

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

'I'll pay double for half as much.'

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

"I'm glad you enjoyed your meal, Sir. Did you save some room for shame?"

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

"It is way too much food. That's why we charge way too much money."

'To help me stay on my diet, I've hired a portion control officer.'

"I don't know why I put weight on, I hardly eat enough to keep a sparrow alive."

'What do you mean, microbiotic?' 'Very small portions.'

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

The Dinner Builiding

Portions of a thin and fat man.

'Hey Bob, I'd like you to meet my-'

'A good rule of thumb is never to eat anything that won't fit into your microwave.'

Doc, I firmly believe in portion control as long as I control them!

'The 'Junior-Executive Lunch' comes with a larger dessert!'

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet.

'I knew there was a catch! Only fifty calories per serving but one small box contains eight serviings.'