Portion Poet Gifts

'No, Madam. I'm afraid we have nothing 'exquisitely delicious' under 350 calories.'

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

I'm doing my essay on John Milton's "Paradise Lost"...the video game.

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

Rebel without a cause. Poet without a war.

'Publisher recommends a good paper shredder.'

'Have you noticed how portions are getting bigger?'

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

'These are my dieting glasses. They magnify the food so I think I'm eating more than I really am.'

Go large or go home!

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

Fruits and vegetables

'This is truly one of the great poems in the language. Computerese, that is.'

'I'm experimenting with right brain math.'

"Who had the Lumberjack fruit cup?"

'To help me stay on my diet, I've hired a portion control officer.'

Actually, it's healthier to eat smaller meals more often throughout the day.

Birthday cakes for Dieters...

"Stuart – would you like to come up and rap some Tennyson for us."

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

The Dinner Builiding

'You've made a wise decision to use a financial planner. Failing to plan is planning to fail.'

My poem is called 'Daddy's Little Blue Pills...'.'

"Tia Carmen packed my lunch today. She thinks cafeteria servings are way too small."

"The cub holders are for your smaller drinks."

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet.

'To be honest Mabel, we just made 'em smaller!'

Diet Plate/Haute Cuisine

'The 'Junior-Executive Lunch' comes with a larger dessert!'