Portion Poet Gifts

'No, Madam. I'm afraid we have nothing 'exquisitely delicious' under 350 calories.'

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

I'm doing my essay on John Milton's "Paradise Lost"...the video game.

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

Rebel without a cause. Poet without a war.

'Publisher recommends a good paper shredder.'

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

'Have you noticed how portions are getting bigger?'

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

'These are my dieting glasses. They magnify the food so I think I'm eating more than I really am.'

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

Go large or go home!

Fruits and vegetables

'This is truly one of the great poems in the language. Computerese, that is.'

'I'm experimenting with right brain math.'

"Who had the Lumberjack fruit cup?"

'To help me stay on my diet, I've hired a portion control officer.'

"Stuart – would you like to come up and rap some Tennyson for us."

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

The Dinner Builiding

'You've made a wise decision to use a financial planner. Failing to plan is planning to fail.'

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet.

"Tia Carmen packed my lunch today. She thinks cafeteria servings are way too small."

'To be honest Mabel, we just made 'em smaller!'

Diet Plate/Haute Cuisine

'The 'Junior-Executive Lunch' comes with a larger dessert!'

My poem is called 'Daddy's Little Blue Pills...'.'

"You'll never eat all that. Your problem is your eyes are bigger than your stomach."