Portion Portioner Gifts

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"Like you, I'm a bit of a glutton, but I need to monitor my food intake otherwise I could be too heavy to fly..."

'Have you noticed how portions are getting bigger?'

"I'm here to warn you, do not eat both slices of cake – you're going to want one tomorrow."

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

'How would you like your steak, sir?' - 'Big.'

"Hey, that's your personal pan pizza. NO SHARING!"

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

"My father always said...eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince...and dinner like a beggar."

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

Fruits and vegetables

Go large or go home!

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

'I'll pay double for half as much.'

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

'To help me stay on my diet, I've hired a portion control officer.'

"It is way too much food. That's why we charge way too much money."

"Just a heads-up... when you count calories, high score doesn't win."ories/high score

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

"Who had the Lumberjack fruit cup?"

Diet Food...& lots of it

"It's only 5 calories a serving...but a serving is a crumb."

Brownie Size/Okay to Eat

'It serves eight.'

Portions of a thin and fat man.