Portion Puzzler Gifts

"It is way too much food. That's why we charge way too much money."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

All-Day Breakfast

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

'I sure wish there was a formula for picking the right mutual fund!'

"Like you, I'm a bit of a glutton, but I need to monitor my food intake otherwise I could be too heavy to fly..."

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

'Sorry, but I had trouble with train story-problems in math, when I was a kid too.'

Spot the Higgs Boson competition

"I'm here to warn you, do not eat both slices of cake – you're going to want one tomorrow."

'These are my dieting glasses. They magnify the food so I think I'm eating more than I really am.'

'How would you like your steak, sir?' - 'Big.'

'17 of the 23 of the 456 people who returned 76 of the 12 questionnaires thought the statistics were meaningless.'

Fruits and vegetables

Quantum Mechanics Mechanics working on Atoms

Go large or go home!

'I'll pay double for half as much.'

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

"Who had the Lumberjack fruit cup?"

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

"Liquidity is when you wake up one day to see your pension pot has vanished, then you wet yourself."

Brownie Size/Okay to Eat

This Side Up.

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

The Dinner Builiding

"It's not just compared to the table, damn it. This is a small portion."

'Is it true what they say'

"Ed! Help me with this puzzle. I can’t get any pieces to fit." "Put on your glasses, Louise. These are corn chips."

'To be honest Mabel, we just made 'em smaller!'