Percentage Puzzler Gifts

'17 of the 23 of the 456 people who returned 76 of the 12 questionnaires thought the statistics were meaningless.'

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Don't blame me for the grade, blame Google's algorithms."

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist, George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'

'I sure wish there was a formula for picking the right mutual fund!'

Math Jokes

'No, 4 plus 4 isn't 7 Central Time.'

If I move Jen's ortho to Friday, it conflicts with Sam's clarinet, but I can't move that to Monday because Tina has soccer! Ugh, how do I line this thing up? Rubik's Calendar.

'Sorry, but I had trouble with train story-problems in math, when I was a kid too.'

Math Class Rm. 200. I don't get it --- Algebra was invented thousands of years ago and "x" is still unknown!

"You still working on your car?"

'Now that WE'VE found the secret message we will respond by not telling anyone.'

Having conducted a survey of 32.4% of the 56.6% of tax experts about 43% of the budget we found an 87.6% probability that we haven't got the foggiest ideas of what it means.

Man reading problems of perception upside-down.

Time and money on a seesaw are equals.

Secateurs and non-secateurs

Football anagrams(Did vain goal.). Answer: David Ginola.

"It is way too much food. That's why we charge way too much money."

Robot with a sense of humour.

Zorro does algebra.

Man confusing man using statistics.

"Liquidity is when you wake up one day to see your pension pot has vanished, then you wet yourself."

Don't be surprized, I'm combining Oxygen and Magnesium. OMg!

'This is an absolutely honest, above the board tax return. What in hell are you up to!'

'This is the technical support. To become connected to a service agent, please press the root of 576081, divided by three, times one point seven, mins 429.1.'

'I knew insects wouldn't take over the world...numbers will!'

'Is it true what they say'

67 79 97. I thought they'd be more vigorous. I said they're "primes," not "in their prime." 30.

"And that explains 'non-fungible tokens'."