Percent-puzzled Gifts

Having conducted a survey of 32.4% of the 56.6% of tax experts about 43% of the budget we found an 87.6% probability that we haven't got the foggiest ideas of what it means.

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

London map drawn from memory.

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

'I sure wish there was a formula for picking the right mutual fund!'

If I move Jen's ortho to Friday, it conflicts with Sam's clarinet, but I can't move that to Monday because Tina has soccer! Ugh, how do I line this thing up? Rubik's Calendar.

"My idea of an agreeable person is one who agrees with me."

Philosophers studying meta-physical chemistry.

'I'm sorry I didn't come to work yesterday, sir -- somehow, it seemed like Sunday.'

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

'17 of the 23 of the 456 people who returned 76 of the 12 questionnaires thought the statistics were meaningless.'

'Now that WE'VE found the secret message we will respond by not telling anyone.'

'You have voted, yes! Have your SHEEP voted!'

Football anagrams(Did vain goal.). Answer: David Ginola.

Sketchy Neighborhood

"It is way too much food. That's why we charge way too much money."

Man confusing man using statistics.

"Liquidity is when you wake up one day to see your pension pot has vanished, then you wet yourself."

'It's a party invitation, Phillip, not a hostile takeover.'

An elevator to some dynamite.

"Forth floor.. White goods.. Garden furniture.. Alternative medicine."

Will Robinson Finds Himself Lost in Cyberspace.

Annoy Your Parents! You've done it for real. Now, play the video game!

"Dad what's Brexit?"

Sea of rubbish.

The Art of Problem Solving

"I thought if I'm going to do it, do it properly..."

'Amazing, isn't it? It's like she doesn't understand what I'm telling her.'

Jigsaw puzzle

"When I saw you scratch yourself in my algebra class, I thought, 'Now is a good time for a quiz'."

Lab rat shows lab assistant who to do a maze in a book.