Portion Ponderers Gifts

The Dinner Builiding

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

Have you seen my money?

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

Retirement Issues

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!