Food Portioning Gifts

'It serves eight.'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'It's my favorite.'

All-Day Breakfast

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

"They should have quit after deep dish."

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

People who steal food out of the fridge at work and then say...

"Now I wish we hadn't ordered all those appetizers."

"Like you, I'm a bit of a glutton, but I need to monitor my food intake otherwise I could be too heavy to fly..."

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."

"I'm here to warn you, do not eat both slices of cake – you're going to want one tomorrow."

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

"I like that you all brought enthusiasm, but did anyone bring food?"

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

I told you we should have split a meal.

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

"My father always said...eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince...and dinner like a beggar."

"To save everyone from suffering in polite restraint, I shall eat the last slice."

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

Go large or go home!

'I'll pay double for half as much.'

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

Portion control in the Old West

"It is way too much food. That's why we charge way too much money."

"I'm glad you enjoyed your meal, Sir. Did you save some room for shame?"

"Just one menu for us, please. We don't want to overeat."

"I don't know why I put weight on, I hardly eat enough to keep a sparrow alive."

"Who had the Lumberjack fruit cup?"

Birthday Cakes for Dieters...

"Just a heads-up... when you count calories, high score doesn't win."ories/high score