Policeman Pillows

"So the goverments intent of stamping out rural crime.."

'Actually, I wanted you to touch your own nose.'

"Anything you say can be used in a very exciting new true-crime podcast we're working on."

It was the break they had been waiting for: prints left behind at the scene of the crime.

'This is a textbook case of homicide.'

'But, officer, I AM wearing a seat belt.'

'Okay, this guy isn't talking. You can kill the headlights Sam.'

Sherlock Holmes peering through giant magnifying glass.

"Sometimes I can't remember if I'm good cop or bad cop."

Policeman Falling Off Bicycle

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

'This looks like the work of a surreal killer.'

Superintendent on Night Patrol in Whitechapel Slums

"When I said dig up everything on the former owners, I meant at the library."

'I think we have a possible case of death by overdose.'

'You've taken a sobriety test before.'

"The vasectomy clinic? Go past the barbers, left at the scissor factory, cut through the bollards and it's opposite the sewing machine shop."

"Well Sarge, this looks like one of your classic open and shut cases."

'No. 5, please step forward, open your coat, and say, 'ho, ho, ho.''

'How do you expect me to concentrate when you're reading me my rights?'

"Sarge, the computer won't let me retrieve the criminal files."

PC World - Policemen's shop

Stop And Search Engine

'Don't tell me you weren't speeding back there. When you drove by me, all I could see was a blur.'

The day the government stepped in to ensure our water was safe.

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

The Smoking Inn.

'We should rejoice that within a vibrant drug culture every young adult knows how to use a tourniquet.'

China/Tibet .

'You have the right to legal representation, if you can't afford a lawyer, an inexperienced, second rate one will be appointed to you.'

'I'll be happy to provide a blood sample but it won't be mine.'

Which one is Mr Big?

The Elliot Ness monster.

'You've a broken lamp and your underlay's dangerously worn.'