Plumbing Jokes Gifts

In Case of Emergency Break Glass

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

'I'm not working on a case, I'm looking for something interesting to read in the john.'

"I hate my job!"

'I seem to have a spare tap son.'

"It was very generous of you, by the way."

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

Fiction for Plumbers

'Without thinking Captain Hook uses the wrong hand'

Sudoku toilet paper

"Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there. I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go."

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

"Uh, I was drinking that."

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

'When did you swallow the coin?'

Septic Fields Forever.

"No one quite knew what Bob did to earn a crust...rumour had it he was a biologist...with a special interest in sloths!"

"If you can read this, tell me if I need to hike up my pants."

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'Fred suddenly regretted having drunk so much coffee...'

"I quit going to sea, and now I'm a plumber's helper."

The Puppet Poop

'Bloody reincarnation therapy!'

Fat Kid 13- Goes for a ride

Every morning, the 'who's gonna be first?' cold seat standoff.

"I'm glad that you've decided not to take yourself so seriously, but. . ."

"I know you're in there, Miriam...hurry up, I have to go!"

'He doesn't know his arse from his elbow.'

'It's Clegged up, Mrs - I'm afraid it means another U-turn!'

'I wonder how you flush this thing?'