Plumbing Pun Gifts

'Why don't you call a plumber?'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

'I seem to have a spare tap son.'

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

Fiction for Plumbers

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

'When did you swallow the coin?'

Septic Fields Forever.

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

"I quit going to sea, and now I'm a plumber's helper."

'It's Clegged up, Mrs - I'm afraid it means another U-turn!'

In Case of Emergency Break Glass

'He's the ship's plumber, Captain.'

Vicar with three taps: hot, cold and holy.

Hot Water from the bath.

'Ok, who didn't leave a faucet to drip so the pipes wouldn't freeze!'

'Mom!!'

Gimme 400 rolls of duct tape.

"Thank goodness you're here! My husband is trying to fix it himself!"

"I'm recording this so next time I swear, you'll know where I got it from."

Dog Urinals.

'Say, aren't you the guy who owns the theater I go to? The one with $5 small sodas and $6 popcorn?. . . Well then, you'll understand if my bill for unstopping your sink is $33,000?'

Sponsoring a Panda

"If I can't be a plumber's apprentice, can I be a plumber's helper?"

'I don't want to go up after Yang's dad.'

'Vienna Brass Ensemble'

'Yeah, I think we might need to call a plumber. It's overflowing again.'