Plumbing Humor Gifts

"If you can read this, tell me if I need to hike up my pants."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

'I'm not working on a case, I'm looking for something interesting to read in the john.'

"I hate my job!"

'I seem to have a spare tap son.'

Fiction for Plumbers

"It was very generous of you, by the way."

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

'Without thinking Captain Hook uses the wrong hand'

Sudoku toilet paper

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

"Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there. I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go."

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

"Uh, I was drinking that."

Scaffolding being put together by glue.

'When did you swallow the coin?'

Septic Fields Forever.

"No one quite knew what Bob did to earn a crust...rumour had it he was a biologist...with a special interest in sloths!"

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'Fred suddenly regretted having drunk so much coffee...'

"I quit going to sea, and now I'm a plumber's helper."

The Puppet Poop

"I'm glad that you've decided not to take yourself so seriously, but. . ."

Every morning, the 'who's gonna be first?' cold seat standoff.

Fat Kid 13- Goes for a ride

'I wonder how you flush this thing?'

'He doesn't know his arse from his elbow.'

'It's Clegged up, Mrs - I'm afraid it means another U-turn!'

"I know you're in there, Miriam...hurry up, I have to go!"

'Bloody reincarnation therapy!'