Plumbing Humor Appreciator Gifts

'Vienna Brass Ensemble'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

' ... and this is the half bath.'

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

Dog Restroom

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'My phone's been tapped!'

'When did you swallow the coin?'

Septic Fields Forever.

"If you can read this, tell me if I need to hike up my pants."

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

Litterature

'When the curse is upon Dave he's never sure whether to use the bathroom or the garden.'

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

"I quit going to sea, and now I'm a plumber's helper."

'I've been having a lot of out of potty experiences, lately.'

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

In Case of Emergency Break Glass

I hate it when they start without us.

'It's Clegged up, Mrs - I'm afraid it means another U-turn!'

I don't care if going straight is quicker - next time we go around.

Hot Water from the bath.

'That's your limescale problem sorted.'

'Why don't you call a plumber?'

'Ok, who didn't leave a faucet to drip so the pipes wouldn't freeze!'

"Did I forget my gloves in here?"

'Mom, I said if you want to live in this neighbourhood, keep a weapon at your disposal.'

I have a low flow toilet ... but not by design.