Plumbing Pun Lover Gifts

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

Septic Fields Forever.

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'Fancy a swift half?'

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

Fiction for Plumbers

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'My phone's been tapped!'

'When did you swallow the coin?'

"If you can read this, tell me if I need to hike up my pants."

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

'I've been having a lot of out of potty experiences, lately.'

"I quit going to sea, and now I'm a plumber's helper."

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

I hate it when they start without us.

'It's Clegged up, Mrs - I'm afraid it means another U-turn!'

In Case of Emergency Break Glass

Hot Water from the bath.

'That's your limescale problem sorted.'

'Why don't you call a plumber?'

'Ok, who didn't leave a faucet to drip so the pipes wouldn't freeze!'

'Vienna Brass Ensemble'

History Class Moved to Room 318. The class relocated because of this mess. The pipe breaking was a "history changing" event.

'Mom, I said if you want to live in this neighbourhood, keep a weapon at your disposal.'

"If I can't be a plumber's apprentice, can I be a plumber's helper?"

'I don't want to go up after Yang's dad.'

'Yeah, I think we might need to call a plumber. It's overflowing again.'

I have a low flow toilet ... but not by design.