Plumbing Pun Lover Pillows

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

Septic Fields Forever.

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'Fancy a swift half?'

Fiction for Plumbers

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'When did you swallow the coin?'

'My phone's been tapped!'

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

"I quit going to sea, and now I'm a plumber's helper."

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

I hate it when they start without us.

'It's Clegged up, Mrs - I'm afraid it means another U-turn!'

In Case of Emergency Break Glass

Hot Water from the bath.

'That's your limescale problem sorted.'

'Why don't you call a plumber?'

'Ok, who didn't leave a faucet to drip so the pipes wouldn't freeze!'

"You should have called earlier."

'Mom, I said if you want to live in this neighbourhood, keep a weapon at your disposal.'

"If I can't be a plumber's apprentice, can I be a plumber's helper?"

'Vienna Brass Ensemble'

I have a low flow toilet ... but not by design.

My mission is to get to the spacestation before the plumber does!

'Yeah, I think we might need to call a plumber. It's overflowing again.'

'I don't want to go up after Yang's dad.'

High water pressure