Plumbing Pun Appreciator Pillows

'When did you swallow the coin?'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

' ... and this is the half bath.'

Pirate eye test

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

'What's that funny smell?'

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

My horse for a kingdom.

'Everybody gets to go fishing but me! Life just isn't fair!'

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'My phone's been tapped!'

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

Septic Fields Forever.

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

"Me? I'm grateful for an indoor bathroom."

I hate it when they start without us.

"A funny thing happened on my way over here..."

'It's Clegged up, Mrs - I'm afraid it means another U-turn!'

Vicar with three taps: hot, cold and holy.

In Case of Emergency Break Glass

"I knew I shouldn't have eaten that dodgy fish."

Hot Water from the bath.

'That's your limescale problem sorted.'

'Ok, who didn't leave a faucet to drip so the pipes wouldn't freeze!'

'Why don't you call a plumber?'