Plumbing Puns Enthusiast Pillows

'I'm sorry, Ma'am, but we don't do bridal showers.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

'I seem to have a spare tap son.'

Fiction for Plumbers

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'My phone's been tapped!'

'When did you swallow the coin?'

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

Septic Fields Forever.

"If you can read this, tell me if I need to hike up my pants."

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

'I've been having a lot of out of potty experiences, lately.'

"I quit going to sea, and now I'm a plumber's helper."

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

In Case of Emergency Break Glass

I hate it when they start without us.

'It's Clegged up, Mrs - I'm afraid it means another U-turn!'

'He's the ship's plumber, Captain.'

Hot Water from the bath.

'That's your limescale problem sorted.'

'Mom!!'

'Ok, who didn't leave a faucet to drip so the pipes wouldn't freeze!'

'Why don't you call a plumber?'

'Mom, I said if you want to live in this neighbourhood, keep a weapon at your disposal.'