Plumbing Puns Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I'm sorry, Ma'am, but we don't do bridal showers.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

Fiction for Plumbers

'I seem to have a spare tap son.'

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'When did you swallow the coin?'

'My phone's been tapped!'

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

Septic Fields Forever.

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

"I quit going to sea, and now I'm a plumber's helper."

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

'It's Clegged up, Mrs - I'm afraid it means another U-turn!'

In Case of Emergency Break Glass

I hate it when they start without us.

'He's the ship's plumber, Captain.'

Hot Water from the bath.

'That's your limescale problem sorted.'

'Mom!!'

'Why don't you call a plumber?'

'Ok, who didn't leave a faucet to drip so the pipes wouldn't freeze!'

'Mom, I said if you want to live in this neighbourhood, keep a weapon at your disposal.'

"If I can't be a plumber's apprentice, can I be a plumber's helper?"