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Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

' ... and this is the half bath.'

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'When did you swallow the coin?'

'My phone's been tapped!'

"If you can read this, tell me if I need to hike up my pants."

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

Septic Fields Forever.

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

'I've been having a lot of out of potty experiences, lately.'

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

Vicar with three taps: hot, cold and holy.

'You say it's milk, oh, oh, I must have hooked up the wrong pipes.'

I hate it when they start without us.

'It's Clegged up, Mrs - I'm afraid it means another U-turn!'

Hot Water from the bath.

'That's your limescale problem sorted.'

'Why don't you call a plumber?'

'You should have called me sooner.'

'Ok, who didn't leave a faucet to drip so the pipes wouldn't freeze!'

Hoping to compete with ABC's smash hit 'Desperate Housewives', Fox launches 'Desperate Plumbers'.

'Say, aren't you the guy who owns the theater I go to? The one with $5 small sodas and $6 popcorn?. . . Well then, you'll understand if my bill for unstopping your sink is $33,000?'

History Class Moved to Room 318. The class relocated because of this mess. The pipe breaking was a "history changing" event.

"You should have called earlier."

"If I can't be a plumber's apprentice, can I be a plumber's helper?"

'Yeah, I think we might need to call a plumber. It's overflowing again.'

'Mom, I said if you want to live in this neighbourhood, keep a weapon at your disposal.'