Plumbing Pun Aficionado Gifts

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

' ... and this is the half bath.'

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'When did you swallow the coin?'

'My phone's been tapped!'

Septic Fields Forever.

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

'It's Clegged up, Mrs - I'm afraid it means another U-turn!'

I hate it when they start without us.

Vicar with three taps: hot, cold and holy.

'You say it's milk, oh, oh, I must have hooked up the wrong pipes.'

Hot Water from the bath.

'That's your limescale problem sorted.'

'Why don't you call a plumber?'

'Ok, who didn't leave a faucet to drip so the pipes wouldn't freeze!'

'You should have called me sooner.'

'Say, aren't you the guy who owns the theater I go to? The one with $5 small sodas and $6 popcorn?. . . Well then, you'll understand if my bill for unstopping your sink is $33,000?'

"If I can't be a plumber's apprentice, can I be a plumber's helper?"

I have a low flow toilet ... but not by design.

"You should have called earlier."

'Yeah, I think we might need to call a plumber. It's overflowing again.'