Playful Relative Gifts

"Jonathan, leave granddad alone. He's not feeling interactive."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

'She's just great with the children.'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

Mixed Doubles.

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

Holding hands

"Werewolves of London..."

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'You may now kick the bride.'

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

Baby tells other Baby to call.

Advanced footsie

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!