Playful Relative Pillows

"Jonathan, leave granddad alone. He's not feeling interactive."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

'She's just great with the children.'

Mixed Doubles.

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"Werewolves of London..."

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Holding hands

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

Advanced footsie

'You may now kick the bride.'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'Remember last Saturday. . . you were bold that day. No dear, caught.'

Circus Act

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'