Playful Family Member Pillows

'I know they do that in church, Sweetie, but Daddy isn't a statue.'

"Nice try, Amber. . . but you know it is your Bath time, not Trixie's!"

The Gurdleys partake in their Thanksgiving tradition of bobbing for drumsticks in hot gravy.

"Okay, just one story. Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy who wouldn't go to sleep."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Tiny dog catches frisbee that spins him around in circles.

'She's just great with the children.'

Mittens is challenged by the string.

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

'Super Dog'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"Werewolves of London..."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

"Don't even think about it."

Baby tells other Baby to call.

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'