Fun-loving Family Member Pillows

Television Baseball

Don't move Grandma! I'm decorating you for the holidays.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"Don't even think about it."

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

Kangaroo - Mum dropping her ice-cream on Joey's head.

Serious Putty

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Jeff's Smorgasbord

'Hey Mister Petrie, what's the world's record for tennis balls in a retriever's mouth?'

To them it's just a Prada handbag

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

Skateboard

But it's the other leg that hurts.

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

Multisports

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

"Okay, just one story. Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy who wouldn't go to sleep."

"Stay-at-home Snowdad."

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

Man building a tree house

Two cats are high off catnip.

"You can't have dessert until you eat all of your people nuggies."

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

'She's a lousy cook, but it's great fighting food.'