Fun-loving Sibling Pillows

If dogs had pockets.

Ship with dog hanging out of window.

"I knew Mary would dump me when my fleece got a little gray."

"Youff!"

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

Desert island rocket...

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

Dog wearing a cone

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

PET THEORIES

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

Chasebook

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

Separation

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

Endangered Species - Hardly/Slightly/Extremely.

'I'm concerned that the children may be playing too rough.'

Cat king.

"It's nice to be wanted."

Meow Power Demolition team.

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

'Who handles your media, Rex?'

Olympics create interest in curling.

'That beagle sure is a tough case!'