Sibling Who Loves Humor Pillows

Sick Exhibitionist

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

PET THEORIES

At the mobile tracking test lab.

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

Bathroom Fairy

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

No caption. (The Mona Lisa is depicted wearing a smiley face button.)

'No honey, you can't sell him on ebay.'

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

'Enjoy it while you can, kid...one day you wake up and you're five!'

"I knew Mary would dump me when my fleece got a little gray."

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

How Am I Driving?

Look out, you're sitting on a worm!

'Mom says she has a souffle in the oven - Does that mean I'm going to have a baby brother?'

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'

Um, General Hannibal, a word if I may...

The Wellington Statue.

Most egregious misuse of Commons speaking time.

'No, she can not come out to play again.'

"Note cards, like a TV talk-show host! Now I can talk intelligently on any subject!"

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

Log-in name and password?

'He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites.

'Your brother sure ha some kind of weirdo creepy imagination.'

Trump's thoughts on 9/11

"If I were your big sister, I'd show you how to act right!"

When I'm a famous actress, you'll be jealous. Wrong. I can't wait to see you in the movies. It's nice that you can enjoy my glamorous success. Or�Enjoy watching you get punched out like the girls in all the action flicks. Great. Hollywood takes over where little brother leave off.

"Just be aware, once you go upright there's no going back."

101 uses of a dead cat: ladder.

"Gracie, get out of my room! Must I remind you that I am a martial artist in training?"

"Do you ever just stop and think about all the disgusting things there are to put in your mouth?"