Sibling Who Loves Humor Pillows

Sick Exhibitionist

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

PET THEORIES

At the mobile tracking test lab.

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

Bathroom Fairy

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

'Enjoy it while you can, kid...one day you wake up and you're five!'

"I knew Mary would dump me when my fleece got a little gray."

How Am I Driving?

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

Look out, you're sitting on a worm!

Most egregious misuse of Commons speaking time.

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'

'Mom says she has a souffle in the oven - Does that mean I'm going to have a baby brother?'

'No, she can not come out to play again.'

Um, General Hannibal, a word if I may...

The Wellington Statue.

'He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites.

"Note cards, like a TV talk-show host! Now I can talk intelligently on any subject!"

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

101 uses of a dead cat: ladder.

Trump's thoughts on 9/11

"Just be aware, once you go upright there's no going back."

"If I were your big sister, I'd show you how to act right!"

'Your brother sure ha some kind of weirdo creepy imagination.'

"Gracie, get out of my room! Must I remind you that I am a martial artist in training?"

"Baldo, can you wash the dishes for me? Or I won't help you with your homework for a month!"

"Do you ever just stop and think about all the disgusting things there are to put in your mouth?"