Sibling With A Dark Sense Of Humor Pillows

101 uses of a dead cat: ladder.

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

PET THEORIES

Bathroom Fairy

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

At the mobile tracking test lab.

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

How Am I Driving?

The Wellington Statue.

'No, she can not come out to play again.'

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'

President Trump blames loss of gravity on Democrats and China."

'Mom says she has a souffle in the oven - Does that mean I'm going to have a baby brother?'

Um, General Hannibal, a word if I may...

Sick Exhibitionist

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

"Note cards, like a TV talk-show host! Now I can talk intelligently on any subject!"

"Just be aware, once you go upright there's no going back."

'Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those that care'

'Your brother sure ha some kind of weirdo creepy imagination.'

"If I were your big sister, I'd show you how to act right!"

Trump's thoughts on 9/11

'Please leave your message after the tone...'

Conversation in the country about theft

'Here's the deal: I can't dig right now and can't trust other dogs... So, there's a carrot for you each time you dig out one of my bones...'

"Baldo, can you wash the dishes for me? Or I won't help you with your homework for a month!"

Slow day at the Oval Office...

"Do you ever just stop and think about all the disgusting things there are to put in your mouth?"

"My sister takes a bath every day - she's a mud wrestler."