Siblings Who Love Humor Pillows

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

PET THEORIES

At the mobile tracking test lab.

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

No caption. (The Mona Lisa is depicted wearing a smiley face button.)

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

'A boy? Come on, Mom, you can do better than that!'

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

How Am I Driving?

"I knew Mary would dump me when my fleece got a little gray."

What will be the worst part about your first semester of college being online classes only? My little brother will be my freshman year roommate!

The Wellington Statue.

Sick Exhibitionist

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'

President Trump blames loss of gravity on Democrats and China."

Um, General Hannibal, a word if I may...

'Mom says she has a souffle in the oven - Does that mean I'm going to have a baby brother?'

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

"Note cards, like a TV talk-show host! Now I can talk intelligently on any subject!"

Log-in name and password?

When I'm a famous actress, you'll be jealous. Wrong. I can't wait to see you in the movies. It's nice that you can enjoy my glamorous success. Or�Enjoy watching you get punched out like the girls in all the action flicks. Great. Hollywood takes over where little brother leave off.

"If I were your big sister, I'd show you how to act right!"

"Just be aware, once you go upright there's no going back."

101 uses of a dead cat: ladder.

"I was on Clinton's White House staff, but I got reshuffled."

Trump's thoughts on 9/11

'Your brother sure ha some kind of weirdo creepy imagination.'

"Baldo, can you wash the dishes for me? Or I won't help you with your homework for a month!"

'Please leave your message after the tone...'

Those bubble wrap kids.

Conversation in the country about theft

"Do you ever just stop and think about all the disgusting things there are to put in your mouth?"