Siblings Who Love Humor Gifts

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

PET THEORIES

At the mobile tracking test lab.

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

'A boy? Come on, Mom, you can do better than that!'

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

How Am I Driving?

"I knew Mary would dump me when my fleece got a little gray."

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'

'Mom says she has a souffle in the oven - Does that mean I'm going to have a baby brother?'

The Wellington Statue.

Sick Exhibitionist

Um, General Hannibal, a word if I may...

President Trump blames loss of gravity on Democrats and China."

"Note cards, like a TV talk-show host! Now I can talk intelligently on any subject!"

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

101 uses of a dead cat: ladder.

'Your brother sure ha some kind of weirdo creepy imagination.'

"I was on Clinton's White House staff, but I got reshuffled."

"Just be aware, once you go upright there's no going back."

"If I were your big sister, I'd show you how to act right!"

Trump's thoughts on 9/11

"Baldo, can you wash the dishes for me? Or I won't help you with your homework for a month!"

Those bubble wrap kids.

Conversation in the country about theft

'Please leave your message after the tone...'

"Do you ever just stop and think about all the disgusting things there are to put in your mouth?"

'Here's the deal: I can't dig right now and can't trust other dogs... So, there's a carrot for you each time you dig out one of my bones...'