Brother Who Loves Humor Gifts

How Am I Driving?

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

PET THEORIES

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

At the mobile tracking test lab.

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

Teacher's sign in Philosophy class reads: 'Think', Sign in Science class reads 'Thunk' as student falls over.

"Maybe if we had better teachers we could learn new tricks."

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

"Not me, brother - you wake him!"

'I'm all about quantity.'

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'

Um, General Hannibal, a word if I may...

The Wellington Statue.

Sick Exhibitionist

'Mom says she has a souffle in the oven - Does that mean I'm going to have a baby brother?'

Most egregious misuse of Commons speaking time.

Plaids set man apart from the lower animals

'Hey, don't look at me -- I was AGAINST free will.'

Dog helping scientist.

101 uses of a dead cat: ladder.

Man asleep on a bus while a child colours in his tattoos with crayons

"I was on Clinton's White House staff, but I got reshuffled."

Trump's thoughts on 9/11

Conversation in the country about theft

'Please leave your message after the tone...'

"Do you ever just stop and think about all the disgusting things there are to put in your mouth?"

'Here's the deal: I can't dig right now and can't trust other dogs... So, there's a carrot for you each time you dig out one of my bones...'

How are my grandchildren? Ask them! They all live with me!

"My sister takes a bath every day - she's a mud wrestler."

"What say this week you be the cat and I'll be the dog?"