Brotherly Humor Gifts

"Not me, brother - you wake him!"

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

PET THEORIES

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

At the mobile tracking test lab.

"It's easy to understand the theory of evolution when you have a brother!"

No caption. (The Mona Lisa is depicted wearing a smiley face button.)

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

"Instead of a bedtime story, how about strapping a bottle rocket to your doll and setting it off in your little brother’s room?" "Brad was a terrible father."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

Noah's lesser known brother.

What will be the worst part about your first semester of college being online classes only? My little brother will be my freshman year roommate!

"I think I'm ready to go forth and multiply."

How Am I Driving?

'I'm all about quantity.'

The Wellington Statue.

Um, General Hannibal, a word if I may...

Sick Exhibitionist

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'

'Mom says she has a souffle in the oven - Does that mean I'm going to have a baby brother?'

'What did Cane say to his brother?'

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

Log-in name and password?

"If I were your big sister, I'd show you how to act right!"

"Just be aware, once you go upright there's no going back."

Trump's thoughts on 9/11

When I'm a famous actress, you'll be jealous. Wrong. I can't wait to see you in the movies. It's nice that you can enjoy my glamorous success. Or�Enjoy watching you get punched out like the girls in all the action flicks. Great. Hollywood takes over where little brother leave off.

"Baldo, can you wash the dishes for me? Or I won't help you with your homework for a month!"

'Here's the deal: I can't dig right now and can't trust other dogs... So, there's a carrot for you each time you dig out one of my bones...'

'Punish us if you must, Dad, but who will you get to tie your shoe laces for you?'

Conversation in the country about theft

'Oh, no, I'm his brother Teeny, Weeny Todd.'

"My sister takes a bath every day - she's a mud wrestler."

'Sorry, but Mum made me bring my dopey sister along.'

"Calm down ladies! Calm down! There is enough here for everyone so form a queue in numerical order..."