Playful Sibling Pillows

'...Oh and could you hit my brother with a thunderbolt for beating my highest score!'

'Admit it! You and your brother have been bouncing on your bed again.'

'Enjoy it while you can, kid...one day you wake up and you're five!'

2020 Exemptions: Naughty & Nice

Look out, you're sitting on a worm!

'He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites.

"Gracie, get out of my room! Must I remind you that I am a martial artist in training?"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

PET THEORIES

Bathroom Fairy

'I'm concerned that the children may be playing too rough.'

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

Olympics create interest in curling.

'No honey, you can't sell him on ebay.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

'What did you do with the apple I gave you yesterday?'

Scraper Biking, Manhattan, Spring, '95

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

"I knew Mary would dump me when my fleece got a little gray."

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

'Silly Billy - who told you that you could eat a cake of soap?'

Sick Exhibitionist

'No, she can not come out to play again.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites.'

Cat wing walking.

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

'What...you just sold your little sister?!'

'You just had to start digging, didn't you?!'

"If I were your big sister, I'd show you how to act right!"

"Just be aware, once you go upright there's no going back."

'Mom! Make him stop! -- he's trying to sell my dolls on eBay!'