Quirky Relative Gifts

'Hold it. It's Uncle Ezra!'

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"They followed me home from school - can I keep 'em?"

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

Advanced footsie

Inappropriate Snowmen

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

A Prickly Pair

"Where's your nose?"

Giraffe Selfie

'I think there's been some mistake...'

Penguin Remote

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

'Here's one I made earlier.'

"Geese fly in a V, son--attorneys fly in a wedge."

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

"Don't tell him anything."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

'That kid! He forgot it again!'

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"