Quirky Family Gifts

"It's time you knew the truth, Ron. Your father was a horse's a**."

At home with the Cone family.

The First In-Law of Thermodynamics.

"Cody's friends want to talk to us. They think the home-schooling is making him peculiar."

Chip off the old Anti-Christ.

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"They followed me home from school - can I keep 'em?"

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

Advanced footsie

Inappropriate Snowmen

A Prickly Pair

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

"Where's your nose?"

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

'That kid! He forgot it again!'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

Prison Romance.

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

"Geese fly in a V, son--attorneys fly in a wedge."

"Don't tell him anything."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

'Here's one I made earlier.'

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

'I'm here, Mom, hanging out with some friends.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."