Quirky Family Gifts

"It's time you knew the truth, Ron. Your father was a horse's a**."

At home with the Cone family.

The First In-Law of Thermodynamics.

"Cody's friends want to talk to us. They think the home-schooling is making him peculiar."

Chip off the old Anti-Christ.

Cat Towels

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"They followed me home from school - can I keep 'em?"

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

Advanced footsie

Inappropriate Snowmen

A Prickly Pair

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

"Where's your nose?"

"Being with you is just getting too surreal for me, Larry."

It says they're 120 million years old, enjoyed long walks along the tar pit, and loved nibbling on rodents together. Carbon-dating.com

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

Brilliance runs in my family, but in a zig-zag pattern.

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Prison Romance.

"Geese fly in a V, son--attorneys fly in a wedge."

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

'That kid! He forgot it again!'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

"Don't tell him anything."

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

'Here's one I made earlier.'

'I'm here, Mom, hanging out with some friends.'