Quirky Family Member Gifts

"Howard, I think the dog wants to go out."

Family crest

'...And this is my half sister, Donna.'

"Go tell the kids dinner's almost ready."

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

'Son, you need to get your priorities wrong.'

Mum, Dad, I've met something...

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

Banana Costume

'Fetch.'

Biofelineism

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"They followed me home from school - can I keep 'em?"

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"Where's your nose?"

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

"I expect you all to be team players - except Ted, whom I expect to remain team mascot."

Penguin Remote

Giraffe Selfie

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

Victorian Gentleman

'I just had this sudden urge to stand out in a crowd...'.

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'