Quirky Kid Gifts

'Why can't he get into soccer like other children?'

'Mom, my teddy bear isn't responsive to my needs.'

"They followed me home from school - can I keep 'em?"

'I flunked you because the way you laugh is irritating!'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Jr. cloning kit

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

Best before 65 million BC.

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

'This test doesn't understand me.'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'Does sports trivia count as something I learned today?'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"It says here that people can't live without soil. I knew it!"

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Football Crazy strip six

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

"In school we learned about Staten Island. Is that where they make all those pills you take?"

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"Where's your nose?"

I think he knows something that we don't know about the uranium molecule.

Penguin Remote

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

Ostrich Curoisities

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"I expect you all to be team players - except Ted, whom I expect to remain team mascot."

Victorian Gentleman

Giraffe Selfie

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.