Quirky Kid Pillows

'Why can't he get into soccer like other children?'

'Mom, my teddy bear isn't responsive to my needs.'

"They followed me home from school - can I keep 'em?"

'I flunked you because the way you laugh is irritating!'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

Jr. cloning kit

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Best before 65 million BC.

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"It says here that people can't live without soil. I knew it!"

'Does sports trivia count as something I learned today?'

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

Football Crazy strip six

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

"In school we learned about Staten Island. Is that where they make all those pills you take?"

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"Where's your nose?"

I think he knows something that we don't know about the uranium molecule.

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

"I expect you all to be team players - except Ted, whom I expect to remain team mascot."

Giraffe Selfie

Ostrich Curoisities

Penguin Remote

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

Victorian Gentleman

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

'I just had this sudden urge to stand out in a crowd...'.

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"