Quirky Person Pillows

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"But don't let my wacky tie fool you. We actually take business very seriously around here."

"They followed me home from school - can I keep 'em?"

Best before 65 million BC.

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

Texturing the Walls

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

Victorian Gentleman

"I expect you all to be team players - except Ted, whom I expect to remain team mascot."

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

Ostrich Curoisities

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Giraffe Selfie

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

Penguin Remote

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

'I just had this sudden urge to stand out in a crowd...'.

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

Real Estate Personals

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."