Curious Kid Pillows

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

"In school we learned about Staten Island. Is that where they make all those pills you take?"

'Sorry to disturb you - we're on a treasure hunt..'

Sex Education

'Mom, what comes first for celebrities? Botox or detox?'

I think he knows something that we don't know about the uranium molecule.

'As a kid I was always taking things apart...so, anyway, that's when my parents stopped getting me pets.'

'All this 'history' stuff you teach about - is it based on actual events?'

"Thanks for the birthday gift, but what will I do with a gift card to a toy store?"

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

"Grumble all you want, but if you're not wearing your PPE, I won't let you use tools!"

Jr. cloning kit

"What does your father do for a living?"

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

Where do you keep the, you know, yukky stuff?

'Does sports trivia count as something I learned today?'

G.P.S. For the Home

"If you were the real Santa, you wouldn't be giving me a big song and dance about supply chain problems!"

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

"You always seem to get good grades in Show and Tell."

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

'Grandma, does spiral ham come from the tails?'

"Mommy's tattoos are the result of very bad decisions she made when she was not much older than you."

"Where are all your Santa Claus books – fiction or nonfiction?"

Slumpy the economic indicator for kids

"Are there any security cameras in the basement?"

"What was life really like in the middle ages, Sadie?"

"Hold it, dad - what's a 'bird', and what's a 'bee'?"

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

'Your stork story got me to thinking, Dad -- wouldn't it be simpler if people just did it like dogs and cats do?'

'I'm usually not allowed to play with electricity, but I'm sure Mum won't mind me playing with you...'

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

'Maybe he brought you, but my mommy and daddy are do-it-yourself fans.'

'I told you this would make a lousy birthday present.'

'Let's see, here we have the first results from of the brain scanner...'