Quirky Student Gifts

'This test doesn't understand me.'

'I can't write legibly... then my teacher would find out I can't spell.'

Essay Paper.

'I'm always pleased to meet my daughters college friends Alan. I hear you're studying alternative medicine? Reiki or acupuncture?'

'Have you ever considered I may not be cut out to be a student?'

"I didn't raise my hand. I was just stretching."

"I'm deleting history so there will be nothing to study for tomorrow's history test."

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"They followed me home from school - can I keep 'em?"

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

Scientist has note on chalkboard: E=mc2 + 6% sales tax.

Subatomic particles

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"And today children, Homer is going to show us his 'pressed fly and bug collection'."

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"Giant Sequoias'- with apologies to the Encyclopedia Britannica."

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

'Why do I have to go to school! Can't you just buy me a smartphone!!'

"If you don't wake up and get to work, I'm going to call your mom."

Great progress has been made in the science of genetic clowning.

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"Do you have any bedtime stories that aren't about the former Yugoslavia?"

"Who has the most power... the president or his wife?"

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

'Ever since I had a disease named after me, people seem to keep their distance.'

'Are you sure Anderson is working on the Human Genome Project?'

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

'It doesn't matter that your thesis is on extra sensory perception, you can't cite mindreading in your references.'

I wasn't cheating...I was getting a second opinion.