Quirky Academic Gifts

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

"Do you have any bedtime stories that aren't about the former Yugoslavia?"

"I gave you half credit on your paper ? Franklin did invent the stove, but Jefferson didn't invent the airplane."

Subatomic particles

The institute.

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Pigeon Little

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

Reverse psychology

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

Reverse Ageing Laboratory

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

Pavlov's Cat

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Cloning Laboratory: 'I never thought I'd work here.'

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

No other lab did as cutting edge research using lab rats as test subjects as McWit Lab.

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

'This cork idea of yours is great! How do you get it out?'

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."