Quirky Educator Gifts

"They said he had to post his office hours, but they didn't say where."

Benjamin Franklin

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

'I won't be coming in again - my dad's set up a free school in his shed.'

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

How to sit in a box, Lesson 18. Teacher: "Why do I always get the slow class?"

Bus Timetable

'Couldn't you just give out gold stars like the other teachers, Miss Price?'

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

'Home Schooling'

Scientist has note on chalkboard: E=mc2 + 6% sales tax.

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

Subatomic particles

"And today children, Homer is going to show us his 'pressed fly and bug collection'."

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

Dog Anatomy from Memory.

"Do you have any bedtime stories that aren't about the former Yugoslavia?"

"Shows you how much I know."

'Dad demonstrates for an hour and then we go home - what happens in your swimming lessons?'

'Think Basics.'

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

Lack History Month

"Can't hear it at all, miss."

"...then - and here's the funny part - I add the potassium sulfate..."

'I picked up my Latin from watching Roadrunner cartoons.'

The institute.

Student about substitute teacher that is a sub sandwich: 'We got a good lookin' sub today.'

There were occasional moments when she questioned her decision to work with truly gifted students.

'Sir, one question... When will we know if we've run-out of invisible ink?'

"Our curriculum focusses less on rote memorization and more on putzing around."

'They canceled school today -- the teacher couldn't find her hand puppets.'