Quirky Instructor Gifts

There were occasional moments when she questioned her decision to work with truly gifted students.

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

'Home Schooling'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

Scientist has note on chalkboard: E=mc2 + 6% sales tax.

Subatomic particles

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

"And today children, Homer is going to show us his 'pressed fly and bug collection'."

"Professor Zlata! You're just in time to be the planet Neptune!"

"Do you have any bedtime stories that aren't about the former Yugoslavia?"

'Dad demonstrates for an hour and then we go home - what happens in your swimming lessons?'

Benjamin Franklin

'Think Basics.'

"The Help Desk guy says to try Ctrl-Alt-Delete....!"

"He doesn't like dinosaurs."

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

'They're both great quarterbacks, but I chose Matt as my starter because he's dating a celebrity!'

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

'I picked up my Latin from watching Roadrunner cartoons.'

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

Professors Elliot, Lars, and Roth while away the hours till the new semester begins.

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

"...then - and here's the funny part - I add the potassium sulfate..."

The institute.

Off the wall legal advisor.

'Sir, one question... When will we know if we've run-out of invisible ink?'

'Try to keep a straight face when you plead 'not guilty'.'

'I'm terribly mixed up.'