Funny Teacher Gifts

"What do you call a fish with no eyes?" "A Fsh."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'Home Schooling'

Empty Headed Schoolboy

'Dad demonstrates for an hour and then we go home - what happens in your swimming lessons?'

Benjamin Franklin

'It actually stands for 'substitute' but it keeps the children in line.'

'Think Basics.'

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

"...then - and here's the funny part - I add the potassium sulfate..."

Adjunct educator substitute teacher.

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

'Today in Tactile Effusions Class we are going to pop the bubbles in this packing material.'

There were occasional moments when she questioned her decision to work with truly gifted students.

'Oh look, I a flying saw sir.'

'Sir, one question... When will we know if we've run-out of invisible ink?'

'They canceled school today -- the teacher couldn't find her hand puppets.'

'As it's your first day Frobisher, I feel I should warn you that the pupils can be a bit of a handful!'

'Play among yourselves while I deal with my stage fright.'

I will stop making two people who have nothing in common fall in love.

"My father tried to help me tell time, Mrs. Davis, but I couldn't tell which of my hands was bigger to show the hour!"

"I will now open the floor to questions. Bye bye!"

A teacher sits in front of a blackboard that advertises various school subjects as being for sale.

Gesundheit! Your allergies to chalk acting up again, Ms. Weatherspoon?

I brought two #1 pencils.

'I won't be coming in again - my dad's set up a free school in his shed.'

'My teacher says I'm an underachiever, but I think she's an overexpecter.'

'I think that's right, but let me check.'

'That's sure a funny lookin' sandwich bag!'

"How can you be failing history?"

'Couldn't you just give out gold stars like the other teachers, Miss Price?'

'OK, you try it' (Learner bank robbers).